W'e’re not messing around here.
Afternoon - Dance practice, late lunch and revelry: Hopefully you’ve had at least a day or two to recover from your jet lag, so you’re feeling more or less like a human person. Starting at around 1pm, transportation will take you from the hotel to Fazeelat’s home, for a fun afternoon of dance practice and games.
Fazeelat and her dance partner
All are demanded on the dance floor.
Daytime - Preparation for Mehndi: At the home there will be lunch and Mehndi preparation. You can have mehndi (henna) applied to your hands and partake in the traditions a bride goes through before the evening begins.
7pm - Mehndi: The Mehndi is a traditional ceremony that kicks off the wedding. This traditionally used to be a gender segregated event, but times change / Jimmy is too needy to be left alone. Mehndi is a big part of South Asian make-up tradition to decorate the bride and the women attending the wedding. Traditionally the South Asian bride wore kohl in her eyes, Mehndi (henna) on her hands, and walnut bark to dye the lips.
During the event the groom and bride are brought in one by one by family and loved ones singing and dancing. This is followed by the Mehndi ceremony, in which seven married women place henna on the bride’s hand followed by the rest of the guests. This is actually a very auspicious Hindu/Indian tradition!
After the Mehndi ceremony is when the fun begins. The friends of the bride and groom participate in a dance off. This is a battle for honor, so get ready.
Daytime: Our guests can spend the day doing one of many things: (a) resting because you were up until 6am, (b) exploring the art studios and meeting the artists of Lahore, which we will arrange, or (c) taking guided tours of the walled city.
4pm - Haveli: Our guests will head to the Old City for an event hosted by the Goldblum’s. Lahore's Old City is at least a thousand years old, and in the heart of its former red light district, is a Haveli, an ancestral home, called the "Barood Khans' (or Arsenal), so named because it was built for the Sikh army's commanding general around 230 years ago. This is where we’ll all gather.
After the mayhem of the Mendhi, expect this event to be nice, rejuvenating, and relaxing. Fresh juices, beautiful music, and a traditional, bountiful dinner served around 7pm.
A Traditional Qawwali
This is not what’s happening this evening, but a cool indication of what’s possible.
1pm - Wedding Reception: This is a lunch to celebrate the union of the bride and groom and mostly a photo op. Usually the bride and groom sit on a stage and have their pictures taken with all the guests, Fazeelat doesn’t want to sit on the stage and Jimmy very much does- lets see how this pans out.
9pm - Musical Evening: A classical Sufi singer will perform a concert for us. Don’t miss this.
A Magic Pot
Open to reveal unbelievable deliciousness.
Daytime - Tours: For those who were too tired to explore on the 23rd, this is another day to tour the Walled City and the art galleries of Lahore. We will also arrange shopping tours.
Evening - Farewell dinner: Fazeelat’s Uncle, her father’s brother, will have a farewell dinner on the roof of one of Lahore’s most beautiful restaurant. It’ll be a feast, and the view cannot be beat.
Honestly, if you’re traveling 20+ hours to visit us in Pakistan, we don’t need a gift; and we’re not paying lip service to that idea. We really believe that. If you don’t get us a gift, that is seriously okay. Your sharing this experience with us and bringing your good energy is gift enough.
That said, we’ve communicated this party line to more than enough people who’ve responded, “If you don’t have a registry, I’m gonna still buy you a gift, and I fear it’ll be something you don’t like.” Fair enough.
So here’s the deal: Fazeelat and I are eventually taking our honeymoon to Japan. Neither of us have been, and as lovers of Japanese food, films, and art, we’re overjoyed to explore. We have setup a Honeyfund, where you can help book us some adventures on our journey.
Thank you again! We really appreciate you.
Travel to Pakistan
Keep your baggage tags, when you land in Lahore and collect your luggage you will be required to show proof that it’s yours with your baggage tags.
You can get in any line in immigration, you don’t need to be in the foreign passport line. Trust us.
As soon as you get out of immigration and luggage claim there will be someone waiting for you with a nameplate to take you to the hotel. If you’d like to tip anyone who is helping you with luggage $5 is enough.
You will also have someone take you back to the airport when it is time for you to leave- this is a service the hotels provide.
You cannot drink tap water, so please be sure to only drink bottled water. Whatever the hotel provides is safe.
We will arrange transportation from the hotels to the venues for celebration.
Basic rules: The most important thing for all the events is to have FUN with your sartorial choices. Be bold, be daring! Colorful is best.
What to wear in public: The temperature will be pretty warm during the day and it’ll cool off in the evening. Trousers (below the knee) and anything from a t-shirt, to a tunic, to a long dress- avoid wearing tank tops and strapless tops in public spaces. You do not have to cover your head anywhere unless you visit a mosque. As a woman Fazeelat likes to carry a scarf because they come in handy, but not required.
What to wear to the Mehndi (22nd): Remember to be bright and festive, and wear something you can dance in! You can wear sleeveless and strapless tops because this event is in our home. For guests coming from out of town, come to Fazeelat’s home on the 21st for proper guidance.
What to wear to the Haveli (23rd): The Haveli is a historic, beautiful home in the heart of the old city in Lahore. The event will be outdoors so dress for warm weather and dress comfortably. Festive but comfortable attire.
What to wear to the Wedding Reception (daytime 24th): The wedding reception will begin during the day so it will be warm. This is a festive event, and the more formal of the lot but men are not required to wear suits although they’re more than welcome to.
Ladies, bring your A game.
What to wear to the Musical evening (evening 24th): the musical evening will start late in the evening. If you choose you can go back to the hotel between events, if not feel free to wear what you wore to the reception or bring a change of clothes. You can wear whatever you’d like, but it’ll be a little cooler so dress accordingly. Think caftans, flowy and relaxed!
This space will definitely update as we get closer to the wedding date, but we wanted to take a wee bit of time now to answer some Frequently Asked Questions. Obviously, email us if you'd like anymore clarification!
Question 1: Where is lahore?
Lahore is the city in which Fazeelat was born. It was the former cultural capital of the Mughal Empire, full of resplendent gardens, intricate mosques, and some insanely good food.
QUESTION 2: I'm afraid of traveling to pakistan. should i be?
Wow, what a racist question.
No, no, we kid, it's okay. Look, the Western media is only going to report on Pakistan when something awful happens. Otherwise they ignore it altogether. So, let's just say, the image is a bit skewed.
The only risk Jimmy--an extremely white, neurotic Jewish visitor to Pakistan--has faced there is severe overeating. Every year scores of foreigners, more often from Europe, flock to friends weddings all over Lahore and Karachi, so this is a more frequent trip than most Americans realize.
That said, this is 2018, and it is important to be mindful of risks when you travel and not make your own itinerary without discussing with us first. Also, we will arrange hotel stays and drivers for any Western guests attending the wedding.
In sum: Pakistan is a super beautiful country, and we will go to great lengths to ensure that our loved ones who travel all this way will have an adventure unlike anything they've experienced before.
question 3: what type of events will you provide?
Well, as this is a Pakistani wedding, expect to dance and eat more than you ever have in your entire life. In fact, we will be splitting the wedding guests into Jimmy and Fazeelat dance teams, which will be competing for supremacy.
We're going to keep the rest of the trip a bit of a surprise for now, but expect more as the date approaches.
question 4: what does lahore look like?
Jimmy's Photo in Lahore
iPhone pic. No filter. No real skill. It just looks like this.
QUESTION 5: march 21st - 25th -- that's five days...what?
If you're flying to Pakistan, it's not gonna be a weekend affair. Do some jumping jacks, practice sleep deprivation, and maybe conduct some stomach expansion techniques.
question 6: Wait, did you mention something about dance-offs at pakistani weddings. is that true?
What, you mean...like this:
QUESTION 7: WHAT WILL I WEAR?
Have you ever met Fazeelat? Don't worry.
question 8: what is pakistani food?
A meal at Faz's
This is not a wedding meal. Just a special dinner. And that's a baby goat stuffed with quail, quail eggs, and palao.
QUESTION 9: can you recommend some films / music / books about pakistan?
100%! But give us a second to compile.
QUESTION 10: i have a lot more questions.
And we have a lot more answers. But let's just call it for now because I'm tired of writing.
See you in Lahore.
It'll be an adventure.